I will on occasion have a parent tell me that they would prefer to not have their child know that they are dyslexic or could be dyslexic. They ask me to not bring up the word, as it would impose a burden of shame and guilt on their child. If this is how they strongly feel, then of course I would follow their request.
However, here is another way to look at it.
Scenario. You go to the doctor because you are not feeling well. Instead of asking you the initial questions about how you are feeling and how long you have felt this way, she starts prescribing medication for you to begin taking. And not only that, she does not even tell you what medication it will be! Just how to take it. You go home and start taking it, but have no idea how it works or how long it will take to work. You are basically uninformed!
But doctors don’t generally operate this way. They usually start the appointment by asking, “What brings you in today?”, even if they already have the information in their file. They go over the medication and any possible side effects. They go over lab reports. They explain what the direction is for a solution and discuss in depth the procedures and steps that will assist you on the path to wellness.
Most often, an explanation is not given to students prior to getting reading remediation. They are taken out of the classroom and meet with another teacher to end up getting the same sort of instruction to only continue feeling less confident and capable. Other kids snicker under their breathe as these students pass them upon leaving the room. Or, they get signed up to spend an hour outside of the school day to learn how to read and spell in a different way.
We need to accept that teaching kids what dyslexia is very early on and helping them understand why they are getting extra help and why that help has to be in a different setting than their general education classroom is imperative to maintaining their self-esteem.
Labeling is not a bad thing, it often liberates the labelee from blaming themselves.
So, before sitting down with a new student, I take some time to get to know that child before I start checking off the boxes of a scope and sequence.
I ask them things like:
How are you?
Tell me about school.
What is hard?
What is easy?
How do feel about getting additional help with reading?
What can I do to help you?
What should I avoid when I work with you?
Then I explain to them:
This is what dyslexia is and what it is not.
This is what we are going to learn together.
This is why we are going to work on this together.
This is how we are going to do it.
Always let me know when I am going too fast or too slow.
Always let me know when you don’t understand.
Always let me know when you need a break.
Students need to know that the tutor knows what they are doing.
We have to begin to ask them to tell us about it and we cannot dismiss their answers – even when those answers may be a blow to our egos or our plans. They need to know that mistakes are ABSOLUTELY acceptable and even expected in order to learn something in a new way. The positive aspects of having dyslexia (and there are MANY) are emphasized, allowing them to carry that banner proudly!
We need to make sure they feel heard and make sure they know that they have a voice in their educational journey.
It’s their journey...and their committed hard work – not ours.
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